Do you think you might be a sex and love addict? 

You're not alone. But you need to ask for help. I know it's scary and you might not even feel worthy of it, but it's the bravest, most courageous, important, loving thing you can do for yourself. And you're the only person who can do it. How much longer do you want to wait? It's up to you.
I get so many emails and messages asking me for help. I wanted to create one page of references to help get you started on your path to recovery, freedom, and peace. I hope this helps.
Love, Charlene

Want to know my story? You can read it here at BUST Magazine.

Find out if you're a sex and love addict.
Talk to someone.
This is so very important and should be made a priority. If you're broke, like I was, there are places that specialize in counseling for those with low income. And there are also therapists who will lower their rates. Miraculously, I found that when I was willing to get help, I magically was able to pay for it. I still can't tell you how this happened. I think this is simply how much we are meant to get help and work on ourselves. The universe will support you as soon as you make the decision. I promise.

Do some extensive googling. Look for low-cost therapy in your area. 

Look for therapists that specialize in sex and love addiction.

If you live in Los Angeles, the Center for Healthy Sex focuses on sex and love addiction and offers group therapy which is more affordable than individual therapy.

I highly recommend finding someone who will understand you. Keep trying until you find the right person, and don't quit. You're worth it. I found that sadly, some therapists just didn't understand the addiction at all. You will feel relieved once you find someone who does.

Get informed.
Here are some books that helped me understand the addiction more:
Facing Love Addiction: Giving Yourself the Power to Change the Way You Love by Pia Mellody
Facing Codependence: What It Is, Where It Comes from, How It Sabotages Our Lives by Pia Mellody
Ready to Heal: Breaking Free of Addictive Relationships 
by Kelly McDaniel
Out of the Shadows: Understanding Sexual Addiction 
by Patrick Carnes
Try a meeting.
I know meetings aren't for everyone. The first time I tried them, I thought they were dumb, everyone was crazy, and I was just fine. Three years later, I crawled back on my hands and knees out of desperation. They helped me get my life on track, but most importantly, they helped me find human connection, which is what heals us, and taught me how to love and take care of myself. I highly recommend trying a few  to see if they can help.
Other resources.
Every month I write for my advice column, DEAR CHARLENE, over at Flood Magazine. Check out my columns on self-care, taking a dating hiatus,  being in love with someone unavailable, having a hard time staying away, and much more.
POPSUGAR: 1 Woman Reveals What Love And Sex Addiction is Really Like
I spoke intimately about sex and love addiction and my recovery in this video with PopSugar.
GIRL REBUILT: Charlene deGuzman on love, creativity and addiction
I did an interview with Girl Rebuilt.
GLAMOUR: The Life-Altering Realities of Sex and Love Addiction
I was interviewed for this awesome story by Glamour Magazine.
SHE KNOWS: What It's Really Like to Live With Sex & Love Addiction
I explained why sex and love addiction is different than sex addiction.
NEW YORK POST: Recovering sex and love addict: ‘I thought my only value was sex’
I spilled my guts to the New York Post!
FOX NEWS: Sex, love addiction portrayed in ‘Unlovable,’ the ‘life-saving’ film that tells Charlene deGuzman’s story
BUST: How I Recovered from Sex and Love Addiction
I wrote this personal essay sharing my story for BUST Magazine!
NPR: Behind The Real Sex And Love Addiction In The Musical Film 'Unlovable'
I was on NPR's Weekend Edition. 
Here are some podcasts where I speak candidly about my experiences with sex and love addiction:
Talk Easy with Sam Fragoso
I Burn Everything - April 20, 2016
Definitely Dying - August 11, 2016
Reality Bytes - June 16, 2017
Sex Actually Podcast - October 29, 2018
NPR - November 4, 2018
Girl Boner Radio - November 5, 2018
51 First Dates - November 6, 2018
Mirror of Intimacy - April 8, 2019

© 2019 charstarlene

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